My daughter is the oldest so she was the first one with this request. After discussing it, my husband and I decided to OK the idea. She was 15 at the time and fairly mature for her age. I put her down as my daughter and closely monitored her page for any suspicious pictures, friends or weird things posted there. My son at the time was 12 and wanted a Facebook account too. Since he?s my problem child and doesn?t always think things through properly, my husband and I told him no. However he stopped by the library one day after school and, using their computers, created his own account without our permission.
When we found out a few months later, we considered deleting his account until we realized that if he created an account once, he could probably do it again whether that was at the library or at a friend?s house. We decided to let him keep his account and I connected to his account as his parent and started monitoring what was going on.
When I was checking his page recently, I noticed several boys making threats to him. I quickly screen shot the posts and saved them for future reference and had a talk with my son about bullying. He banned those boys from his page and if there is an issue in school with either of these boys, I have proof of the threats. If I hadn?t been monitoring his page, I never would have known about this. My problem is with those boys? parents. Where are they? Do they know what their kids are doing?
Facebook can be a great way to keep in touch with your kids as well. Keep in mind that mine are teens (14 & 18) so they are out with friends or at after school activities a lot. My daughter (18) is on her way to a concert with a friend & she FB?d me via her cell phone to let me know she was on her way. She?ll check in the same way when she gets there & when she leaves.
My son is 14 and while he doesn?t have a cell phone, he still uses Facebook to keep in touch. Today he walked up town with a friend. We live in a small rural town. They stopped at the library where he used the computer there to use Facebook. One of the things that he did was pop on Facebook and let me know where he was and that he?d be home on time. He can *keep face* with his friends without saying? ?I have to call my mom?. A quick message on Facebook and we are both happy.
Now that my daughter is 18 and has started college, she has her own laptop and is on the internet in her room. My son at 14 does not have his own computer or access anywhere but in the living room where I monitor him *discreetly* so I know what?s going on without being too obvious. I?m one of those hands on parents and I?d highly recommend not letting kids online without supervision of some sort.
Facebook is not all bad but it?s like anything else, there can be dangers if you aren?t involved in what your kids is doing. I wouldn?t let my kids on at nine or ten ? for me that?s just too young. I do think that by the time they are teens, they probably have enough freedom to create their own account without you knowing about it. I?d rather know about it and monitor it than have him create one in secret that I couldn?t monitor.
How does Facebook fit into your and your kids? lives? Or does it?
Ellen can be found at Confessions of an Overworked Mom where she writes about eco-friendly, time saving, gourmet products with a focus on recipes, crafts, fashion and fitness. She also blogs at The Socialite?s Closet where she lets her passion for fashion run free. Connect with her on Twitter @scentednights
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